Encyclopedia Distractica

Here's a work in progress, and also in its infancy. I call it ENCYCLOPEDIA DISTRACTICA. It is a loose assemblage of events, some gravely important, some absurd, that I've considered showcasing for several years now, in order to remember Humanity's gleefully-forgotten recent past, but more importantly, to compare the sublime with the ridiculous. Above all, to bear witness to the interminable American tendency to become absorbed with the minor, the petty, the diversionary, at the expense of what really, IMHO, matters. In every year reviewed, I seek to recall the seminal events, and set them down beside the many OTHER occurrences that were heavily sensationalized in order to keep the US Public ignorant, shallow and downright dim-witted. Feel free to contribute or offer corrections or suggestions. 1974: Facing certain impeachment proceedings in Congress, Richard M. Nixon abdicates the presidency, effective Aug. 9. 1974: Evil Knievel "jumps" Idaho's snake river Canyon, September 8. 1975: North Vietnamese forces win the Vietnam War, April 30. Shoot-out on Pine Ridge Reservation between Lakota warriors and FBI agents leaves two agents and on warrior dead, June 26. Leonard Peltier extradited from Canada the next year as a result of false testimony utilized; Petier later framed for the death of the two "G-Men" and sentenced to life imprisonment 1976: The Senate Select Committee on Intelligence(?), otherwise known as the "Church Committee Report" released, detailing widespread illegality and other malfeasance by the US intelligence community. 1976: "Rocky" hits the theaters, Captain & Tennile's "Love Will Keep Us Together" at or near top of the charts. Bicentennial of "US Independence" leads to year-long mega-hype about this nation's supposed wondrous superiority. Even NYC fire hydrants were painted red, white and blue. 1977: New York City Blackout provides an excellent opportunity for looting, burning and assorted acts of mayhem, July 13. More than $1 billion in losses, measured in 1977 dollars. 1977: "Star Wars" makes its highly-touted, well-received debut. "Boston" makes radio waves with "More Than a Feeling." 1978: Israel invades Lebanon, March 15. Philadelphia Police end their months-long siege of the "MOVE" compound in a hail of gunfire, Aug. 8. One cop killed, probably by "friendly fire."Jonestown:" More than 900 People's Temple members are supposed to have committed mass suicide in the jungles of Guyana, November 18, giving rise to the immortal expression "Drink the Kool-aid!" Former firefighter and city board of supervisor Dan White assassinates San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk, Nov 27. 1978: "The Gong Show" is all the rage. "A Taste of Honey" comes out with "Boogie Oogie Oogie." The Who greatly impressed an adolescent Dan Goldstein with the Album "Who Are You?" 1979: "The Warriors" appears on the big screen, the film is blamed for provoking shootings and stabbings, some fatal, inside theaters across the country, late Winter or early Spring. Partial Meltdown" at Pennsylvania's Three Mile Island nuclear plant, begins March 28, only a couple weeks after the "China Syndrome" warned movie audiences of the possibility of an atomic "accident." Jimmy Carter's "Malaise Speech," in which he never used the word "malaise," July 15. Iranian students seize US Embassy in Teheran, Nov. 4. 1979: Neil Young's "Rust Never Sleeps;" The Knack sings (shouts?) "My Sharona." First of the Star Trek movies series released. President Carter, "attacked" by a rabbit April 29 during canoe trip in SW Georgia; wallops the offensive bunny with a paddle. 1980: "Solidrnosc," or "Solidarity" labor union emerges as force to contend with in the Poland's Gdansk shipyards, August. Iran Iraq War begins, September 22. "October Surprise," in which Team Reagan purportedly worked out a deal with the Ayatollah's government to keep 52 US hostages detained in Iran until after the 1980 presidential election, and also the "mysterious" theft of Carter's briefing books for one of that election year's televised debates. Ronald Reagan elected, Nov 4. John Lennon assassinated in NYC, December 8. 1980: Jack Nicholson "terrorizes" vapid film audiences with his typically disgusting, highly talented performance in "The Shining." (I never said I would avoid editorializing.) Bett Midler is "The Rose." "Hot Tubbing" is very popular that year. 1981: Attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan, March 30. Attempted Assassination of the Pope in Rome, May 10. GRID, or "Gay Related Immune Deficiency" (later renamed AIDS) officially detected in NYC and San Francisco during Spring-Summer period. Reagan busts air-traffic controller's union, PATCO, strike begins Aug. 3. All striking air controllers fired. 1981: Royal Wedding of Prince Charles & "Lady Di, July 29. MTV debuts, Aug 1. Bob and Doug McKenzies' "12 Days of Christmas" causes the most imitative North Americans to parrot "Hey Hoser!" "Hill Street Blues" a TV sensation. 1982: Israel invades Lebanon, June 6. 10,000-20,000 Lebanese & Palestinians slaughtered in Beirut. Tylenol product tampering fatally poisons several people, September/Early October, mainly in suburban Chicago 1982: Frank Zappa's "Valley Girl" changes female (and eventually male) adolescent speech patterns nationwide, apparently a permanent effect. Fifty-seven day long NFL players' strike begins, Sept. 21.