Eli Eli lama sabachthani

As Johnny Carson used to bait Ed McMahon and the rest of the Tonight Show audience: "So just how damn dumb are most Americans?..." And they'd answer..."Johnny, they're so damn dumb that..." In this connection, I was eating dinner at a modestly-priced restaurant just now with a friend who happens to be "christian." I launched into the old joke that by now he's heard a thousand times: "Well, I don't mind one bit if you Christers want to worship a nice Jewish boy..." Tommy was nodding his head in amused affirmation when a dork from a nearby table said: "Jesus wasn't Jewish." "Ah yeah," I replied, "whatever you say." Quite unusually easy-going for me. Didn't have the heart to add, "Well, according to Your Own Gospels, among 'Our Lord's' very last 'mortal' words were these: 'Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?'" MAYBE Aramaic, but CERTAINLY not Norwegian, not Spanish, not Polish. Rather, very likely Hebrew, translated - by way of New Testament Greek - into 1610's King James Bible. It means "My Lord, why hast thou forsaken me?" So I suppose, under duress, Jesus suffered a Momentary Lapse of Linguistic Reason? I guess he called out to Gawd in his native Latin that day? And so tonight I'm imploring Him: "Gawd, PLEASE save me from your 'Foolowers!'" All of this, of course is predicated on the questionable existence of Jesus Christ.