Dear Bob Dobbs

Dear Bob: Yesterday was Game Day Numero Uno! Bleak September 1, 2012. He's NOW TIME. Not leetle olde WAY BACK WHEN TIME, Big Event's transitive raw deal for Jimmy Crack cocaine jocks, they place an undue sense of importance-identity on blaring, pathos-ridden sight, Groin men stupidliciously elevate your child's game, up heights' hoary hell. Hike! state religion. It's Coach Thorazine Fermentoid's brew pub halitosis, mass-psychosis, It's Cheeseworld's Bucky Sucky Badgers, PLAYing one first tiresome and tepid round, rearing, roaring, reaming endless tedium a new *sshole, drearily dragging stagnant state's mentality down with, again, again, again. He's closeted, cloistered queers galore, butt-slapping men lovers jonesing for a fix, History's televised faggotry. The prime spectacle, the hectoring grunt, jolly, jocular, jersey-jerry-jagged testosterone addicts. They devote, voluntarily mind you, self-limited cranial capacity in straight service of a twisted goal. It's the INDUSTRY, man! It's the Bozo Bizarre, the Bimbo Boutique, the Herd Consciousness run rampant, round the rugged rock, see Monte catch the Ball. Run Sport, run, run the runs out your depleted pig-skin brain, till you have nary a nihilism, nor a nattering nag to MATCH. No perturbing pensivity for the Knight, Nay, never, neither nor life's longing irritation. NO! idea as athletic anachronisms arch ponderous passes far above LEGIONS strictly underachieving. Glorify grotesque grossness, O Jock Strap ghouls athwart Limber Jack's lugubrious, lumbering Logos. Ya hey friends! Could, should would (MUST) pertain wacky Boob toob neighbors, The genus Jay Leno, all "you hoo!" and obtaining validation for heart's contagious imbecility, Bart Starr's spirit hampers David-Lettermanning ideation, ambling ardently amok, a Gay God's pursuit of surreptitious pickled pansies' pow-wow thus asperated the pickup truck exhaust. A celebration, across ether's televacation, naughty Norberto joins know-nothing's Party, Neither here nor there, and ESPECIALLY not how, where or why is Afghanland, on the map? Get even seeking to kill it, Now THAT's a bit of fun on hooliganesqueski GAME DAY! 'Cause-its President TOLD us, too.